she smiled sweetly

 

I don’t remember when I last wrote on here but it must have been many weeks! Time seems to have flown by and it’s already the latter part of June, and soon I’ll be going on a holiday with my friends! The weather has been, for the most part, quite warm and sunny but with a few times a week rain, cold winds and dark clouds, quite like my mood lately actually.

I think summer is such a beautiful time because everything in nature is so alive and vibrant, and people seem to be that as well, but it’s also when I tend to feel the worst, and I hate that. It’s so frustrating to see everything around you in bloom but yourself withering away being darker than ever, it’s discouraging. I think summer is beautiful, and the animals seem happier because it’s an easier time for them, plenty of food and warm weather! Yet I always find myself longing for autumn. I’ve always felt the most me, or felt the strongest bond to autumn, the sort of somber, sleepy yet stormy, and copper-like atmosphere that is. It’s cold, but it still feels warm and cozy and while it’s somber it’s still joyful in a way. Maybe I’m a bit biased, being born in November, but I feel November isn’t really autumn anyway? It’s some sort of transitioning month from autumn to winter, and it’s usually just dark, grey, wet and cold, just kind of dead, no orange leaves or anything.

Since my mood has been on the bad side lately, more than it has been for a couple of weeks, I’ve naturally gravitated to more calmer, somber, ethereal music, so now I’m listening to the album “Lookaftering” by Vashti Bunyan. My favorite song from that album is called “Here before”, and it’s so soothing, so serene. It feels like you’re floating gently, nowhere in particular, but perhaps in a dark, serene, moonlit, enchanted forest with mythical beings quietly lurking about. It’s so, so beautiful.

I’ve taken up reading again, after what feels like an eternity. I’ve always loved reading and losing myself in books, but the last couple of years I haven’t been able to concentrate on doing just that, and while I’ve been buying book after book from charity shops, I haven’t actually read almost any of them. It’s quite sad really, But the last week or two I’ve taken a chair and put it in the semi-shade in my garden and just read, hour after hour. So I’ve finished reading Agatha Christie’s “Murder Is Easy” (which is one of my favorite episodes of the tv-adaptions from the 2004- series, even if the tv-adaption is quite different from the actual book), and am now reading “Orlando” by Virginia Woolf, and I love it so far, it’s so beautifully written with so beautiful scenery, surroundings and descriptions of clothes, seasons, people, thoughts etc. Going back to Miss Marple, I hope to find “The Moving Finger” and “By The Pricking of My Thumbs” soon, because they are also amongst my favorites of the tv-adaptions, my favorite is probably actually “The Moving Finger”. Ah! I love Miss Marple!

Here’s a mini-playlist for my mood the past week:

Katmandu – Cat Stevens
Here before – Vashti Bunyan
Winter’s going – Bonnie Dobson
Trouble – Cat Stevens
Rose hip November – Vashti Bunyan
Sea song – Caedmon
She smiled sweetly – The Rolling Stones
Love song – Vashti Bunyan
Re: Stacks – Bon Iver
White march – Elena
Caribbean blue – Enya
Kathy’s song – Simon & Garfunkel
Rhymes of an hour – Mazzy Star
Which will – Nick Drake
Suzanne – Leonard Cohen
Heroin – The Velvet Underground
Lilywhite – Cat Stevens
April come she will – Simon & Garfunkel

I’ll try to remember to write soon.

As always,
Julia