almost two years later ..
Oh my goodness.. it’s been almost two years since I last wrote on this blog. I guess I’ve forgotten about this one, remembering it once in a while but then having it slip out of my mind as fast as the thought shot itself into it. I have kind of missed it though, this blog has always been a very clear and calm place for me, I couldn’t tell you why, it just is. I don’t think anyone even reads or visit this blog anymore, but thats okay, it’s partly for therapeutical reasons I even created this blog. But you know… the more the merrier haha.
Since I last wrote an entry here I’ve turned 19 (on November 19th) and graduated upper secondary school and entered my first year of university. I remember writing entries on here about how incredibly nervous and angst-ridden I was about starting upper secondary school, and now thats a finished chapter of my life… strange isn’t it? It’s gone by so fast.
I’ve traveled this year as well, I was on a road trip with my family in the south of England this August, and this is probably my favorite trip I’ve ever been on, I was truly happy during that time. And next summer me and my group of friends are planning a trip somewhere in Europe (it’s far too expensive for us broke students to go outside of Europe I’m afraid!) and have been saving up for the trip for a while now, we’ll see where we end up.
This has been a very challenging year for me, mentally. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before.. but I have some mood problems, I wouldn’t call it clinical depression (never been diagnosed by anyone), but I worry a lot, always have, and my mind can suddenly or during a short period of time shift to a very, very dark place. I don’t ever tell anyone when I’m sad, it’s just how I’ve always been (also I’m a scorpio – we don’t want to show ourselves vulnerable, we’re very private with our emotions!). I’m just always a little sad, sometimes more than other times. So many people have died this year, both famous people and regular people (and people close to me personally), and so many tragedies have occurred and are still occurring, so my mind has been rather dark and cloudy at times. When people you feel like you in some way know, or that has impacted your life in some way, pass away, it’s very hard for me to handle. It feels like everyone is being ripped away from life and I’m being left alone. These people are people I thought had many more years to them, and maybe I even tried to tell myself that they never would die. Ah.. I don’t know, it’s been very unfair.
And it’s difficult to feel hopeful about 2017, since theres wars going on and the next president of the U.S.A is someone that really shouldn’t ever be in such a powerful position or be heard at all. It’s just awful, completely awful.
Oh and should I update you to my music taste – it’s changed a bit, or developed, I don’t know. I’m currently listening to Vashti Bunyan’s album “Some Things Just Stick In Your Mind”, a 2007 compilation album of her songs and demos from 1964 to 1967. Should I just list a couple of bands and artists that I hold dearly? Well, ok so here’s some of them; Nick Drake, The Rolling Stones (mainly the Brian Jones years to be honest), The Stone Roses, Francoise Hardy (and other artists in the yé-yé genre), Simon & Garfunkel, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Cornershop, The Beatles, The Velvet Underground, Coralie Clement, Fleetwood Mac, Kate Bush, The Kinks, The Mama’s and the Papa’s, The Smiths, Ted Gärdestad and so, so, so many more, I just haven’t got the energy to list any more haha. It’s probably easier to list what I don’t listen to.
Maybe I’ll continue posting on this blog, maybe it’ll help make my mind a bit clearer.
Oh and I have a tumblr that I’m the most active on, but I’m afraid you’ll be in for a minor shock about the difference of my very proper speech here and the chaos that is my blog. Should I reveal it? Yeah, I’m going to. It’s pearlpill.tumblr.com! Entry at your own risk.